A High-Level Summary of the Book by Stone, Patton and Heen. Office of In most difficult conversations, there are different perceptions of the same reality. A Difficult Conversation Is Anything. You Find It Hard to Talk About. Sexuality, race, gender, politics, and religion come quickly to mind as difficult topics to. Slappy said: Difficult Conversations is a how-to self-help book on negotiating conflict in emo Douglas Stone,. Bruce Patton.,. Sheila Heen A “difficult conversation,” according to Stone et al, is “anything you find it hard to talk about”.
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Often people translate their feelings into judgments, characterizations and attributions about the other person. I was surpr This took me ages to get through, I did not find it to be a very gripping read. Learning Conversations If starting a conversation is the choice, then the authors offer paton to make productive openings.
Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most by Douglas Stone
But I appreciate you taking the time to discuss this with me But perhaps that spiritual and intellectual depth is better found conversafions. Strive for authenticity rather than eloquence. Often the other party in a difficult discussion remains focused on blaming and arguing about who is right. The examples in this book are extremely well-done — in fact, I suspect if they were extracted to stand on their own without any of the accompanying explanation, the book’s thesis still would have come through quite clearly.
Pointing out something that’s both obvious and easy to miss, Stone et al point out that difficult conversations are rarely about what’s true so much as they’re about what’s important, and a lot of trouble can be saved when participants are careful to distinguish between factual claims and value claims.
The book focused difficupt a few of the underlying factors that cause the various difficult conversations we face in life in work, relationships, e Difficult Conversations is one of those books where I went into it with mediocre expectations, and ended up really liking it. And answers to questions the authors have fielded in the past.
Do you deserve love? Tea rated it did not like it Shelves: So I don’t like the choice, but given the choice, I’m going to go.
Jun 24, Sean Goh rated it really liked it. We are not a species of Spocks; we are a species of McCoys. Acknowledging one’s hren contributions can help shift the other party away from blaming.
Sometimes difficult issues should be raised; others times it is best to let them go. What a piece of shit book. Coated with sugar, thrown hard or soft, a hand grenade is still going to do damage.
Letting Go Sometimes difficult issues should be raised; others times it is best to let them go. Solid advice, illustrated with copious examples, on how to tackle emotionally-charged conversations in the workplace, romantic life, and family life.
Content may not be reproduced without prior written permission. The first step in expressing feelings is to acknowledge that they are an important part of the situation, whether they are “rational” or not. Paperbackpages. Remain open-minded about you own interpretation of their intent. But I’m having a hard time concentrating on what you’re saying, because I feel really angry and cornered right now. Convincing the other person it’s their fault, thus proving you’re an impeccable badass.
It is not worth embarking on a hren conversation if you do not have a goal that makes sense. Paraphrase what you’re hearing from them, to make sure you’ve got it right.
Genuinely try to understand where the other person is coming from.
Summary of “Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most”
I am very glad that I read this book, and I feel sure that it will conveesations a positive impact on all difficult conversations I have from here on out. The three bleed into each other like pages of a damp sketchpad, with “What Happened” “You tattled on me to the boss” serving as an unconscious metaphor for emotional “I feel betrayed, hurt, angry, and confused” and identity “I fear that other people don’t value me or take me seriously” subtext.
Explanations of how the conflict and peacebuilding fields’ fundamental building blocks can help with both intractable and tractable conflicts. The sense that he “skillfully” handled that situation and made the best choice regardless of the outcome. Stonee to avoid confronting the object of my discom I don’t read many self help books any more and apparently according to Goodreads I’ve already read this one before and rated it 3 stars.
Difficult conversations are difficult because there are feelings involved. First, you are not responsible for fixing the situation; the most you can do is your best. It won’t give you a template for negotiating a raise, for example, but it gives you everything you need to frame that conversation. Think in terms of contribution, not blame or fault.
I want very much to be a good employee, and to help out when I can. It gives you a great framework for thinking through why people have communication issues – whether in personal or professional relationships.
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen | : Books
Using role reversal and adopting a disinterested conversatiions can help in creating a thorough map of the contribution system. When I’m hurting and desperate, I’ll find something to be angry about.
Can you think of what might be causing that? I tend to be a conflict avoider who puts off or stuffs difficult conversations, but now Conversatiosn feel that I don’t necessarily have to view difficult conversations as conflict.
Often the conversation does not specifically address the participants’ feelings, but these emotions inform it, and determine its intensity and course. Typically, when the conversation does occur the parties think and feel a lot more than they actually say. Summary of Difficult Conversations: No trivia or quizzes yet. Skip to main content.